I've lost my identity...?

Stop biting your tongue. Speak your mind. If it starts a fight from something you done, say your thoughts about the situation. Also think about if he done the same thing reversed how would you feel if it wouldn't bother you then you have nothing to worry about. Don't be like so many other women i know and let their husband be more important than them. Your opinions matter. ALso if he cant deal with that then leave. It's better to lose a lover than to love a loser.